I couldn't help but think, I'm much happier when I hear stories of truth and triumph than I am when I hear of stories whose only claim is 'happy'. Genuine stories of making it through the hurting, breaking through to healing. Triumph when the easy way would be to slide back into the despair, into the games and tricks. Truth when you look at you in the mirror and are okay with who you see, at least most days. Getting more of those days is triumph too.
Practicing truth and triumph isn't easy, but it is worth it. You won't get that fluffy fuzzy fictional story 'happy story' feel but a deeper satisfaction. The kind that comes from building a boundary, creating a life and healing from the wounds. The kind that comes from knowing the scars mean you survived. You made it through.
The third party message that says, "She cut off contact." and the knowing, that deep inside knowing, that you set a boundary and maintained it. Their response, their reaction belongs to them, not you. That triumph knowing that the little boy won't cry about their bad choices because they don't get to play with your life any more. The truth that you matter more than ego, agenda, motor homes, modular homes or dogs. More than golf even.
It doesn't mean that there won't be hurt. The kid stories, the family fun memories, that stuff we missed never comes back. That doesn't mean we can't create our own now though! Making memories anytime we like is half the fun.
Truth and triumph means being able to walk away, when it is best for you and how it is best. Truth and triumph means you can go back to places you left, if you should choose to. On your terms. Or not. As you choose.
It sucks sometimes, feeling alone in a crowd. Knowing you'll never quite get it, that the scars will always sort of be in the way. That's the truth. There is no way to accept the 'happy' when it has no depth, no soul. When it is a candy coating it always leaves a bitter taste. It's not easy. The real stuff hardly ever is. But there is deep joy, powerful truth and knowing that we survived means we triumphed. We won.
Finding our way to the truth and the triumph is worthy of the effort and so worth it too. You are worth it. I'm worth it.
this is excellent!
ReplyDeleteAmen sister!
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Mel
Please feel free to stop by: Trailing After God
Hi Shanyn
ReplyDelete"they don't get to play with your life anymore" that is a powerful line and it really resonated with me!
There have been times when I wondered if I made the right decision, for instance, so far 2 of my children have graduated high school with no congrats or attendance by grandparents. But I always have to ask myself "what was the alternative?" and I don't like the answer. And I also remind myself ~ as in your case ~ all I did was draw the boundary ~ they make the decision to withdraw all contact. They didn't want to give up playing with my life. And like you, I HAD to take my life back.
Great post.
Hugs, Darlene
Mel - thanks! :-)
ReplyDeleteDarlene - thanks for your comment (and it's so good you can comment here again!)...I hear you and totally agree. I have to have my life back, and they have to live with the choices they made and make.
I just read this post tonight but it was perfect timing. Such a powerful confirmation once again from a much bigger power than I. God is so good! So good!!..Feeling alone is hard but speaking your truth is well worth the fight. I've lived it. I'm living it. I am walking in my truth and triumph...God bless you over and over and over again....RiRi
ReplyDeleteThank you for being here, for sharing. I celebrate you as you find your way...walking truth and triumph is a wonderful place to be!
Delete